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by Offensive Games
About Us

20-98 / Unisex / Pansexual / Multiple
Someplace, State of Wherever

Our story
We’re a charismatic and attractive group of people, aged 20 to 98.  We’re cool with casual sex because your clothes get in the way of the formal kind.  We’re strong advocates of, and for, the female orgasm,  whichever is better, we don’t know…  All of us live in places with our stuff. Some of us don’t have pets.  We don’t care,  we’re not judging.  Our turn-ons include competitive wood chopping, neon signs, and sparkly underwear.  Our ideal date is dinner at a good Indian place, then people-watching in the park.  Keep an eye out for shoes!  Our turn-offs include rude people, stupidity, and bad shoes, worn poorly.  You can wear bad shoes, but you gotta own’em.

What we’re doing with our lives
This, duh.

First thing people notice about us
Our deep blue eyes, all 119 of them.

Most important thing we’ve eaten
We helped eat the world’s largest fish taco.

Favorite French person, Dutch rationalist
Phillipe Petit
Baruch Spinoza, of course...

Four and a half things we can’t live without
Our Mr. SugarCube home sugar-cube maker
Our Okama GameSphere
Our mint condition,  autographed copy of “How to Honey Boo Boo, The Complete Guide on How to Redneckognize the Honey Boo Boo in You.”
Our half eaten container of Whizzo butter

What are you looking for?
We’re lookin’ for a goooood time.  Obviously, The more “o”s, The better the time.
  1. Managing Director
  2. Managing Director
  3. Managing Director
  4. Managing Director
  5. Managing Director
  6. Managing Director
  7. Managing Director
  8. Managing Director
  9. Managing Director
Our Details

Age, sex: 20-98, yes
Active: Hyper
Seeking People, aged 20-98
Relationships: What was the question?
Children: Yeah, what about them?
Ethnicity: which one of them?
Body types: When we fall on the keyboard
Religion: Pantheistic, just covering our bases
Smoking: When we're on fire
Drinking: Beats taking liquids intravenously

If you like what you see, hit us up

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